- Leading Masculinist Sev D'maine describes how men can cope with the occasional burdens of parenthood like having to get up in the middle of the night at least once every week, or having to take the baby for vaccination every other month
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Men can undergo a lot of inconveniences immediately after parenthood, especially when they aren’t yet capable of avoiding additional work due to it being their very first child. At such a time, doing the occasional errand might interfere in their set routines, and might even give them more exercise than necessary, leading to a remote but real risk of unwanted weight loss. Excessive thinness can be devastating for men’s bodies, as per Sev D’maine, an expert who offers tips to avoid this very situation. He recently spoke to the Yellow Bonnet Bot about this subject.
Many workplaces, in trying to look socially responsible, give paternity leave to the fathers, who end up having to do ACTUAL baby work, away from the comforts of their air-conditioned cubicles and easy coffee at work. Though paternity leave is not common in many countries, the fathers in some developed countries are not so fortunate and end up having to sacrifice their office time and beer schedules. While this can be mentally taxing for most men, it is the physical after-effects that are most ignored. This is where Sev D’maine’s activism wants to help.
Sev advises men to count to 10 whenever their sleep gets disturbed, which happens at least 1 out of 10 times when the baby cries at night. “Don’t lose your cool. Your wife will anyway wake up soon and comfort the baby, you only have to manage yourself until then. Due to father-deep-sleep-syndrome, only the mothers generally wake up due to the baby’s crying. But sometimes, even if you do not fully wake up, your sleep quality may not be optimum. Even if you feel fine, you may not be—and perhaps this doubt already bothers you. But that’s OK, men always are ready to sacrifice for their own offspring. This is perfectly fine just after the difficult period of childbirth that you as a couple, and as a father in particular, have gone through. Though men generally outsource work to their in-laws, the wife too may outsource to her in-laws. The man may not know whether to feel guilty or not, in such complicated situations, adding to his mental issues” he said. Sev advises men to relax and get help for running errands, thus reducing mental and ultimately, physical strain on their not-so-fragile body. Sev D’maine’s motto in life, as his name too seems to suggest, is to Save The Men.
“Isn’t the mother the one who has to bear the most pain and effort due to childbirth?” asked a concerned Bonnet Bot, who so far believed that the mother was the one affected more. But Sev begged to differ. “While women are tended to by everyone during childbirth due to all the hype around motherhood, the fathers don’t get any such frills. In addition to being emotionally affected by the mother’s labor pains, the fathers still have to run around, do the paperwork, and sometimes even have the full responsibility of posting the news of baby birth on all messaging platforms like Whatsapp, Facebook, and sometimes even Instagram. That is a high-expectation task these days, where nothing less than a rhyming poem AND an apt description of the new ‘princess’ or ‘prince’ has to be sent to friends and relatives on BOTH sides of the family. All this while the mother is lazily resting and comforted by everyone, including hospital staff and relatives. To add to this, everyone only wants to hear that ‘the mother and baby are both fine’, without bothering about whether the father too is ‘fine’. This puts the fathers at a disadvantage, but they bravely live through that. This too might ultimately affect men’s mental and physical condition, causing unnecessary thinness, that till now, used to go unnoticed” he told the Blue Bot while, while checking his phone at the same time.
“For the first time in the history of parenthood, someone has pointed out things from the father’s viewpoint” Sev told the Blue Bonnet Bot. “It is such diverse perspectives that will ultimately make our society truly equal” Sev concluded.
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