International Satire News

Missionary speaks to uncontacted tribe in forest; causes them to lose ‘uncontacted’ status

The azymbimanova tribe (pronounced azz-yaam-bea-ma-oh-waah in the local azymbimanovan language) has now lost its status as one of the few remaining uncontacted tribes in the world, thanks to an overzealous missionary. UNESCO has reluctantly confirmed that the ant-eater-taming people from the 89th lost island of the San Martinastic archipelago no longer enjoy the status of being on the list of uncontacted peoples remaining on the face of this planet. Several activists have asked for the arrest of the missionary, who ‘just wanted to take the message of God to the people who were missing it’.

 ‘Jo ufza magube bagube’ said a local after being one of the first to convert from ‘uncontacted’ to ‘contacted’ status. Translations weren’t immediately available, as their language was unavailable even in ‘Google Translator’ as of yesterday.
    The villagers from the nearby mainland didn’t seem too happy. Even global experts were unhappy. “Missionaries always want to convert, and now that is exactly what they have done, converting their uncontacted status”, quoted Resser Choftriebs, to the Bonnet Bots. Resser is  an expert from the Department of Research on Newly Contacted Uncontactable Tribes, from the Ivy League University of Harford Stanvard.

At the time of going to press, the religion of the missionary was still unknown.

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