International Satire News

Jobs lost due to ‘accidentally unmuted Zoom mics’ is the new casualty of Covid-19

Just like every other media publication and blog on the internet, the Bonnet Bots too wanted to write about ‘how our work life has forever been affected by the Pandemic’ as if people really care about such stuff to devote time to reading a blog about it. Though all the statistics were un-contextual and boring at the same time, we, the two Bonnet Bots, did some amazing interviews (of course on zoom) to discover a highly interesting statistic, that ‘accidentally unmuted Zoom mics’ are the biggest cause of problems in the office life of the common man (and woman), causing problems as small as ‘background noise’ to as big as losing their jobs. The latter was one of the newest discovered casualties of Covid-19. So here are some tips on how to avoid such problems.

The Bonnet Bots discussing on a Zoom call about the dangers of discussing on a Zoom call

Bonnet Bots’ tips for corporate employees: How to avoid an unmute-faux-pas to save your job:

  1. Mute mic yourself even if the host has already muted you, so only YOU can unmute yourself: Many times, you assume you are muted by the host as usual, and you think you are safe, and start speaking your true opinion about your boss to your spouse. And then you realize that the host had forgotten to put everybody on mute, and they heard about the TRUE nature of your boss. Job gone. Happens. Avoid.
  2. When you are saying to your spouse, “I’ll do that after this stupid call is over”, always use your native language or a language not understood by most people on your call, especially your boss.
  3. If you are monolingual, use codewords such as ‘Timpu’ for ‘boss’, and ‘bright’ for ‘stupid’. Example: This Timpu is so bright!
  4. Double-check whether the mic is muted, when you tell your spouse “give me beer in a coffee mug”
  5. Keep a smiling face when your boss is telling you how we need to increase sales and cut headcount even though we profited from the pandemic
  6. Switch off the camera AND mic every time you want to virtually strangle someone on the call

All the best to keeping your jobs in spite of the accidental faux pas during your zoom meetings.

Image credit: Cover Image Photo by Yan Krukov from Pexels; Office image(Original photo without cartoons) by Lagos Techie on Unsplash

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