International Satire News

‘Disposable pets’ trend emerging quickly due to Super-Expensive ‘Pet Food’

Throwaway culture has now intruded yet another market, in a trend that was not expected to have happened as early as this year. But exhorbitant pet food prices have left people with no option.

A dog owner, Triktea Churr, who wished to remain anonymous at least to the canines, spoke to the Blue Bonnet Bot about this latest issue. “Yeah, it is true that with every passing month, pet food becomes so expensive that it’s now cheaper to just buy a new dog than to keep buying food refills for the existing one,” she confessed to the Bonnet Bot. “But wouldn’t you miss the various stages of its growth, and also its company?” asked the Bot. “Oh, I ensure continuity in the dog’s lifecycle, so when this one dies at age x months, I will ensure that the age of my next dog is x months only. That way, my daughters don’t find out,” she said.

Triktea Churr, posing with two of her current three pets, and the Blue Bonnet Bot

The Bot persisted, “But won’t they find out that the new dog doesn’t do the old one’s tricks?” to which she stated, “They learn quickly, at least more quickly than the old dog, because, after all, you know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so only new dogs can learn them.”

Triktea Churr looking for a replacement online for her third dog, who is peacefully sleeping in its hunger

Dog owners are not the only ones affected. “I got a pet turtle for 20$ which consumes 40$ of pet food every week. If I don’t feed it, and it dies, I have to buy a new turtle but my weekly expenses are 50% less,” said Paetstaav Err, a small-turtle enthusiast. “That way I not only save on food and other pet services like vets and day-care, but I don’t even have to worry about what to do when the turtle’s size becomes unmanageable” he stated to the Yellow Bonnet Bot, while calculating his own savings in his mind while speaking to the Bonnet Bot.

Paetstaav Err showing off his current turtle which he does not have to feed

E-commerce sites, for a change, are opposing the disposable trend, saying they themselves will be starving and on the roads if this trend continues.  “We can’t sell live animals due to USPS and other couriers’ rules banning live animals in parcels, even if we promise to drill holes in the box for airflow. On the other hand, decreasing sale of pet food means losing out on one of the most lucrative high-margin products after contact-lens cleaning solution (for humans, not pets)” said a seller from Bemazon, a local e-commerce giant.

Various animal rights activists around the world have not yet protested against the price rise in pet food. “We don’t know whether to oppose the price rise in pet food or to oppose the trend of disposable pets. While the former is the logical thing to do, it doesn’t sound as cool as protesting against starving animals, which is much more convincing” said an animal rights activist who spoke to the Bonnet Bots.

“We think animal rights activists will support this practice, as it will lead to more animals getting a chance to be adopted as a pet, due to recurring demand” continued Paetstaav Err, when asked about the matter. “Earlier only a select few pets could enjoy the lifestyle of the rich & famous, often better than some of us humans. Now there will be more equality amongst animals as more of them get to experience this luxury” he concluded. The Bonnet Bots have not yet tried to contact PETA to know their views about this issue.

At the time of going to press, various organizations were trying to assess the impact of this latest new practice on the environment, and of course, on climate change.

Note: does not support starving pets in any manner, and the above article is only for humor and for raising awareness about the rising costs of pet food. Instead of processed pet food, try giving your pet nutritious home food that we end up cooking in excess anyway for our kids who reject it while making inimitable faces.

Image credit: Cover image dog by Karsten Winegeart from Unsplash, Triktea Churr photo with Bot: michael-tomaszewski from Unsplash and her photo with 3rd pet: Bruno Emmanuelle-azsk from Unsplash

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