International Satire News, Uncategorized

Warning: Covid-19 vigilante lures innocent kids and adults into masking up

The Bonnet Bots interviewed some people in a local locality to investigate a report about a man moving around town to enforce his own Covid-19 hygiene for the pandemic. Several adults too were reportedly targeted in attacks where he ‘pulled up’ the masks sitting on people’s chins to ensure that even their noses were covered.

“Yes, I was on a walk to ensure that my $400 shoes do not get spoilt due to non-use, when I sensed someone running towards me. I was having my mask down on my chin for a smoke, and this man suddenly came near and pulled it up from my chin, over my mouth and nose. I now have a cigarette hole in my favorite mask”, said a casual walker while sadly narrating his shocking experience to the Bonnet Bots.

“But we have heard he mainly targets kids who don’t have masks at all…isn’t that right?” asked the Yellow Bonnet Bot. “That’s right” he confirmed.

“He lures innocent young children with tangy snacks, and by the time they have finished the last piece, they already have a blue surgical mask on their faces. Specifically covering the nose as well”

-Casual Walker and Victim of the Covid-19 Vigilante
People trying out different ways to avoid the Mask Vigilante’s attacks

People are trying various ways to avoid being targeted by him, but he is still at large. A woman victim too was interviewed by the Yellow Bonnet Bot. “Yes it is true that he targets people with tasty food, in fact, food that is a bit sweeter than it should be”, said Crazif Orfudd, a local snack eater. “But how do you know the taste so well?” asked the Yellow Bot, to which the woman confessed that she too was lured by the vigilante while she didn’t have a mask on. “I was on my way to cancel a vacation I had booked for Russia and Ukraine, when I was suddenly targeted by his snacky food” she confessed, leaving out the remaining details.

“I believed I had rights to remain mask-free and vaccine-free. Even in countries like Canada, people are now getting rights to be mask-free, but in our country, we are being forced to wear masks by people who we haven’t even voted for, or vetoed for,”

-Crazif Orfudd, a local snack eater
Crazif Orfudd shows the alleged Vaccine prick she received from the Vigilante, to the Yellow Bonnet Bot who interviewed her

“I even discovered a needle prick on my arm, so I’m sure he must have even vaccinated me. Thanks to yesterday’s symptoms, I know it is the Pfizer vaccine. So I know which day I need to go out mask-free again on the same street, hoping he spots me for my second dose,” she revealed.

The Blue Bonnet Bot asked another victim of the ‘pull up’ mask action, why he had his mask down in the first place. “I wasn’t eating or anything, so my mouth was mask-covered, but not my nose. You gotta breathe, right?” he asked, “Say yes or no, it wasn’t a hypothetical question” continued the man, to which the Bot responded, “No, I don’t gotta breathe. I am a Bot. Robot.”

“Wow, so you can even breathe underwater.”

“No, I can’t breathe underwater. Or anywhere for that matter. I don’t need to.”

“I mean you can go underwater without having the need to come up to gasp for air.”

“That’s true…but if I go underwater, I may never have to come up again as my circuits would malfunction and I will be of no use anyway.”

“What a dumb idea to make a robot that is not waterproof. How would you swim?”

“I don’t”

“You can’t”

“Whatever”, said the Bonnet Bot, ending the interview.

At the time of going to press, a vigilante-looking man appeared out of nowhere and put a mask on the Blue Bonnet Bot’s face and left before he could be interviewed for this story.

Image credits: Photos by cottonbro from Pexels

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