International Satire News

Millenial surprised to find Iron Man with advanced clothes iron that is ‘truly wireless’

Tourist and “Wierdogram” webpage Vlogger Wilson Parker was traveling through the sleepy lanes of rural India when he came across an iron man. Not the flying type, but the real ironing type. He realized that while he himself always struggled with the cord while ironing his own clothes, the efficient iron man in this sleepy town didn’t have to bother about it ruining his work. The iron just didn’t have a cord!

“Connection is forever a piece of complicated baggage to carry. Detachment is a savior. Being cordless and connectionless is the best, be it iron or life” said the iron man Kaulaire Ron, who has very small electricity bills to pay, owing to his cordless iron.

Taken aback, Vlogger Wilson quickly calculated how long such a device can work with a lithium-ion battery, the best known mainstream battery type. But even after his analysis was completed and confirmed, the iron man continued using his iron without waiting for a recharge. “That’s when I realized that this is an awesome cutting-edge or rather cutting-cord technology,” he told the Blue Bonnet Bot. “I couldn’t do a detailed analysis of the device, but from the broken English of the Ironman himself, I have been able to understand that the device somehow uses coal to do directly, what ordinary humans do in 17 discrete steps,” he explained the Blue Bonnet Bot. “Ordinary humans can also use coal, where they go from coal –> thermal power plant –>Electricity –> Power Transmission lines –>Local power transformers –> Electric meter at home –> power plug –> power cord –>heating coil inside iron –> Heat for Pressing Clothes. Whereas, this guy’s device goes directly from Coal –> Heat for pressing Clothes. If this technology goes mainstream, imagine the disruption and job losses in the entire value chain of a thing as simple as ironing clothes” he told the Bonnet Bot with a face that expressed both wonder and uncertainty at the same time.

At the time of going to press, he was desperately trying to contact the Bonnet Bots claiming that he had unbelievably found another miraculous device – a sewing machine, which too, could run wirelessly, without ever needing a power socket. The Bonnet Bots are yet to verify the existence of such a device.

Unverified image of ‘wireless’ sewing machine sent by the Millenial vlogger, to the Bonnet Bots

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