“We should wait for all grid results to come in” stated another politician in line with party policy followed during unfavorable exit poll results.
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Report filed: April 6, 2020
Refusing to accept that his grid failure tweet was mistaken, a politician adhering to the ‘grid will crash’ theory refused to accept failure when India’s Power Grid refused to fail after Modi’s solidarity event in India tonight.
Comments were in line with party policy during unfavorable exit poll results, and they claimed grid failures at some places might not yet be reported due to the power failure itself
Background for the uninitiated: India did a show of unity in its fight against Covid-19, by switching off house lights countrywide and lighting diyas (lamps) in their windows for 9 minutes tonight. ‘Experts’ from opposing political parties had predicted chaos due to grid failure caused by sudden decrease of power load. But the grid failed to fail, and chaos was limited to parties who had predicted it.
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A few minutes after the grid failed to fail, a politician insisted to the yellow Bonnet Bot that it was too early to celebrate. “The grid must have failed at some places, we don’t know yet because we need electricity to communicate the failure”, stated Batti Gulnaani, a senior politician from the opposition. “They should not celebrate until all grid results come in”, he added, in line with their comments policy during elections when exit polls are not in their favor.
Some political parties insisted that they deserved ‘thanks’ for saving the grid. “We were not imprecise in predicting a stupendous grid implosion—it was only because of our efficacious warning tweets that the grid subsisted during the incident. We roused the populace to not heed to the calls by the PM, and thus salvaged the grid” said a senior politician, who refused to be identified. The only clue to his identity was his sharp vocabulary, given that he identified himself as an anti pro-democracy non-conformist. “Power grid employees must thank us for reducing their onus of reparation work. Contrarily, they enumerate how lights are only a fractional percentage of load with ineffectual consequences on the stability of the smartly connected network that uses advanced grid communication protocols, which is non-chivalrous action on part of those employees towards our political establishment”, he concluded. Still, his identity remains a mystery to the common man.
At the time of filing this report, the opposition parties were complaining that the Internet too was going to crash if too many people flooded it with diya selfies and candle photos, and advised on twitter against such ‘anti-national’ practices instigated by their sanctimoniously popular leader.