International Satire News

We are unfortunately in that parallel universe where ‘Inferno’ ends differently, with a killer virus released into humans, reveals Dan Brown’s fan about the real source of Covid-19

Recent Lebanon explosion mystery also solved; Ammonium Nitrate was just a ‘conspiracy theory’

Bonnet Bots Untrue News Service

The inferno movie actually happened, and it is not fiction, claimed a Dan Brown fan, named Robber T. Lungdone, whose lungs were done for due to Covid 19. But in the trance-like state he experienced while on a ventilator, he had a realization about the infection.

 

“Just like he did for the Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown researches everything before mentioning facts in his books, so it is obvious that his books contain nothing but the truth”, he claimed to the Yellow Bonnet Bot. When the Blue Bonnet Bot asked for proof, he promptly showed the first page of a pirated copy of ‘Angels and Demons’ where it was CLEARLY mentioned, that ‘all technologies mentioned in this book exist’. “So everything in Dan Brown’s books is well researched and true after all. And the virus is known to be a product of new technology too. And just like in the movie, it came close to spilling. But the hero saves the day at the end of the book, so the movie couldn’t end differently. But as we all know, there are many parallel universes, where things have slightly different consequences due to the uncertainty principle, or whatever other principle is responsible for different probabilistic outcomes”, he said, accepting that he may have credited the wrong theory of theoretical physics due to his weakness at quantum mechanics. He continued, “ Nonetheless, we are unfortunately in that universe where the virus does escape the containment box. The Covid-19 pandemic is proof that Robber T. Langdon has failed after all, at least in one universe. Ours”.
At the time of going to press, Robber clarified that the antimatter explosion from ‘Angels and Demons’ too happened in real life, but again as we are in a parallel universe instead of the original one, it happened a bit differently, and Langdon was trying to throw it into the sea off Lebanon instead of the Vatican when the inevitable happened” he said, with a tear running down his eye. “But some haters of Dan Brown made a conspiracy theory about Ammonium Nitrate and stuff”, he revealed.

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