International Satire News

Aliens allegedly putting abductions on hold until humans sort out Covid-19 vaccine mess

A secret interview accessed by the Bonnet Bots reveal details

Bonnet Bots Untrue News Service

Conspiracy theorist organizations worldwide are worried about the sudden decrease in claimed alien abductions during the coronavirus pandemic. “The lifeblood of these organizations is the claims made by people who either allege alien abductions or are actually abducted by aliens”, said alien abduction observer and specialist Elaion B. Lever, who spoke to the Blue Bonnet Bot about this recently. Elaion believes that “Covid seems to have a weird effect on aliens, where they start falling in love after being infected. So they probably are busy creating more aliens, rather than abducting earthlings.”

The Bonnet Bots were able to access a classified interview found in Area 53, which is just two areas away from a location they aren’t allowed to talk about. 

The alleged leaked interview:

Interviewer: Do you think the pandemic affects your ability to abduct humans?

Alien: Well, we don’t know, but the last few humans I abducted were found to be sneezing and hot. I mean, not THAT WAY hot, but with increased body temperature. But, I also started finding many of my shipmates hot, I mean, THAT WAY. And I stopped abducting more humans for personal reasons which I cannot reveal.

Interviewer: Hmm. Then just for this interview, can you please tell me at least one other reason why the abductions have gone down during this pandemic?

Alien: Yes, there is one more reason. Your Hollywood has made humans expect abductions to be real only if people ‘float’ into the spaceship inside a beam of light…come on, even WE don’t have that kind of technology. We just kidnap them, old-style, chloroform and all…But due to high expectations, we are having to experiment with this kind of tech, but it isn’t yet going that well, which is another reason why we aren’t able to abduct

One of the reasons why abductions have reduced, as per classified documents leaked to the Bonnet Bots

The Bonnet Bots weren’t immediately able to verify or deny the authenticity of this interview excerpt. Rumors elsewhere suggest that some human officials in Area 53 (minus 2) had tried requesting the aliens to help earthlings create a Covid-19 vaccine, but they were too busy scouting out partners for their own quarantine. “Due to this alien behaviour, we have lost the last hope that would have given our country the credit for saving humans from Covid-19”, said Ally Enfan, a senior NASA official who wished to remain anonymous.

Disclaimer : The above article is NOT real news. is a satire and entertainment website. The news is untrue and may seem real only because of the strange fact that fact is stranger than fiction.

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