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Guinea pigs suffer greatest job losses due to direct human trials for corona vaccine

Guinea pigs suffer greatest job losses due to direct human trials for corona vaccine

The coronavirus  a.k.a Covid-19 pandemic is sparing no humans; and job losses are common in all sections of human society. But the pandemic is also having an effect on jobs beyond humans.

Yes, earlier all trials were done on Guinea pigs, for things such as human vaccines, human lipstick, and even bicycles (see picture below for proof).

Guinea pigs in happier times

However, due to the hurry for a vaccine against the deadly Covid-19, vaccines for the same have hurriedly entered the human trial phase, denying an opportunity to guinea pigs, who are hence rendered jobless.

Guinea pigs waiting at the National Institute for Rodent Employment, West Califormia

“We are known only for our ability to be pricked with stuff so that humans know in advance what happens when that stuff is pricked to them. But now they are directly pricking humans, I have heard. We are being denied the only thing which has made us famous” quoted Small Joe, a Guinea pig who has now taken to re-skilling owing to his jobless status. “Guinea pigs don’t get an unemployment allowance” he complained. 

Guinea Pig small Joe from East Dakota, who is reading for re-skilling in the hope of change of a profession

At the time of going to press, not many humans were concerned for these little ones. A political party spokesperson conveyed to the Bonnet Bots that they refused to accept the unemployment numbers in guinea pigs, saying “We are actually still using them, to test the effects of joblessness”.

However, unfortunately, even that is being tested on humans directly, if the believably unreliable figures given by the reliable government are to be believed.

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