International Satire News

Girl found happy despite breakup because ex’s current not as pretty as herself

Bonnet Bots Untrue News Service

Somewhat cute girl from the neighborhood, the yellow-dressed Kanupriya Kaur Das, was not unhappy after her breakup with Marco D’Souza, an almost well-accomplished football player at a local gymkhana. This is a new development, as Kanupriya was known to be unhappy with the breakup, especially since it was just before the interesting football season. However, the smile returned to her face when she was walking on the scenic footpath near her home, and accidentally ran into Marco and his new girl, an exchange student from Europe. One look at the girl, and her face lit up. Marco seemed to try to say something, but all she was thinking was “Oww…not even half as pretty”.

“Oh, I’m really fine”, she quickly said to Marco, though she couldn’t process what Marco had exactly said in the first place. Her mind was too busy, as any computing machine, digital or biological, takes time to analyze graphics. But she could still instantly say to him ‘I’m really fine’, which she really meant, at least for the past few milliseconds, which is all it took for her to decide her status on seeing Michella K. Durand, who she figured, was not as pretty as herself. She kept repeating ‘I’m fine’, and left from there, her smile refusing to wane.

At the time of going to press, Michella was found asking Marco if the yellow-dressed girl they just saw was sane, and if he knew her well enough to know whether her behaviour was generally normal, or if she was just a weird girl, like, ‘always’. At this point, the blue Bonnet Bot decided to NOT go to press, waiting for Marco’s reply. “Yes, she’s just too weird”, he replied, unsure of whether he was lying or not. “Poor girl” said Durand immediately. “She’ll be totally alone unless she finds, like, a totally weird guy.” The expression on Marco’s face on listening to that was too weird to describe, so Bonnet Bot decided to just go to press right away.  

Disclaimer: The above article is NOT real news. is a satire and entertainment website. The news is untrue, and may seem real only because of the strange non-fictional fact that fact is stranger than fiction.

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