International Satire News

Environment Police hit jackpot at World Plastic Expo; Penalize hundreds of vendor booths as per plastic ban

Bonnet Bots Untrue News Service

In the first major raid since the 1st March plastic ban in 2020, the New York authorities confiscated huge amounts of plastic and single-use plastic products and fined 273 vendors for various offenses at the World Plastic Expo held here today. The authorities had not acted till now, due to an unspecified ‘grace period’ for people to adopt. But given this perfect opportunity to find hundreds of plastic vendors in one place, the authorities seem to have suddenly decided to act. The Yellow Bonnet Bot was visiting New York and decided to investigate.

Bonnet Bot interviews the Environment Police Lead

BB (Bonnet Bot): Hi sir. Why have you suddenly decided to fine them? Is the grace period over?

EP (Environment Police): The grace period is not exactly over, but we make hay while the sun shines… We just couldn’t let go of an opportunity to nail so many plastic manufacturers at a SINGLE place.

BB: But how is their merchandise illegal? The ban is only for plastic bags, right?

EP: Yes, and a lot of them at the expo are plastic bag manufacturers. We got a lot of ‘samples’ of single-use plastic. We are seizing anything that is plastic and is used only once. We’re at 1037 products and still counting…

 

Some of the penalized vendors from World Plastic Expo posing with the guilty products to hide their faces

BB: Aren’t you being a bit opportunistic?

EP: No, we have let the New York Toy fair pass. We could have back-dated the ban if we wanted to be opportunistic. In fact, I now realize the opportunity at Toyfair was too big to miss, given the 250$ fine and so many plastic things, packed in plastic!

Bonnet Bot also interviewed a few others at the fair. Bill Packery, a dealer of unburstable bubble-wrap sheets, stated that this was all over-reacting. Bonnet Bot spoke to him, an excerpt of which is given below:

Bill Packery: I don’t see any threat to the world from plastics. Not at least for the next 7 or 8 years…its all a sham

BB: Isn’t there at least SOME benefit from this police action?

Bill Packery: Yes, due to people’s uncontrollable bubble-bursting fetish, bubble-wrap ends up becoming a single use plastic, thus endangered by the single-use plastic ban. But not Packery’s unburstable bubble-wrap. You can’t burst it, even with inch-long nails. Hence, this is the only reusable bubble-wrap. The ban benefits innovation, and my business, you see

BB: No, I meant benefit to the environment?

Bill Packery: Oh, I am a material scientist, not a social scientist, so I cannot comment on that kind of stuff. But if you ever need bubble wrap, call me. Here, take my card.

 

Bill Packery posing with his unburstable bubble-wrap

At the time of going to press, the environment police were unhappy about not being able to raid more vendors as the Expo was being closed down due to the Covid-19 coronavirus scare.

Photo credits: Cover image of plastic haul: Raul De Los Santos from Unsplash.com; Bubble wrap image: Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash.com; Image of People wearing masks: Cottonbro from Pexels.com

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