International Satire News

“We will condemn on Twitter, even Facebook if need be”, says bold statement from world’s nations on Myanmar Protestor Deaths

Bonnet Bots Untrue News Service

Several nations have decided to decisively come down on Myanmar authorities’ recent actions around democracy and the killing of protestors. “We will condemn not just on Twitter, but even Facebook if need be”, said a bold statement from the world’s nations along with the UN, in response to multiple protestor deaths in Myanmar recently.

India has already asked for a ‘peaceful solution’, but one of India’s large neighbors decided not to indulge in such tactics, to avoid troubling Myanmar’s military that is already troubled by ‘internal issues’. That large country is allegedly said to be helping the people of neighboring Myanmar by monitoring their own local social media apps (in order to delete any messages that might hurt the military government of Myanmar in these ‘slightly’ difficult times). Other western countries, however, openly demanded that people should not ideally be killed. They not only condemned but threatened to continue doing so unless people’s deaths came down ‘significantly’ within a few weeks.

Most international citizens supported their countries in condemning the actions of the Myanmar Military. The Bonnet Bots spoke to many such citizens. One such international citizen, an antique manufacturer, told the Blue Bonnet Bot, “It’s sad to hear what happened. In my country, whenever there is a crowd, not even one person becomes part of it, corona or no corona”. He continued, “I hope the Myanmar people do that too, to ensure that when Police fire upon crowds, no humans are at risk”. Another citizen, a catwalker (the pet-dog-walker equivalent, not the ramp walk equivalent), told the Yellow Bonnet Bot that she was surprised that any human would become a part of a crowd that is going to be fired upon. “Maybe the people never realized they would end up creating a firing-worthy crowd” she concluded. All citizens seemed concerned, however, that their leaders were not condemning enough to help the people of Myanmar.

In my country, whenever there is a crowd, not even one person becomes part of it, corona or no corona”

Antiques Manufacturer from another country

At the time of going to press, it was business as usual in all non-Myanmar nations, except India, where some people were waiting to prove on Twitter how bad their governments’ main response was, but could not, as the main response was still awaited. (Except the part where they asked for a ‘peaceful solution’).

Photo credit:  Kaung Myat Min on Unsplash

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