International Satire News

Record amounts of equipment rented by Gyms for demand during New Year Resolutions

Like every January, a major rush has been noticed in the requirement for rented gym equipment, to fulfill the rush of new subscriptions following new year resolutions. The rush lasts for a week each year. But this year is different, as more people have square ‘fitness devices’ which make them track their health for more than the usual one-week period. The cutest robots on the internet, the Bonnet Bots, spoke to an equipment renter to investigate.

“There is excessive social pressure to own fitness devices that look like the Apple Watch. This is primarily to look rich, but it inadvertently makes people keep their fitness resolutions for slightly longer”

Fleesederen Toffjims, Part-time Rental Equipment Provider

“This happens because you actually see the fitness data. They will end up in the gyms for longer time this year, may be up to even two weeks if the weather supports it”, said Fleesederen Toffjims, who is a part-time rental equipment provider to several gymnasiums in the north-eastern part of UK. She was speaking to the Yellow Bonnet Bot while promoting some of her non-rusting weights to a local gym.

The Yellow Bonnet Bot posing with Fleesederen Toffjims, a part-time rental equipment provider to several gymnasiums

“Oh, I can understand why your business is only part-time,” said the Yellow Bonnet Bot, acknowledging that high demand would only keep her busy during the beginning of the year. “That’s not quite accurate, I rent out equipment each year”, Fleesederen corrected him.”New Year is the peak time. But there are plenty of other in-demand periods such as during the start of college terms, before school and college proms, and of course, just before wedding season. Those are longer, as people do real exercise during that time” she informed him. “Then why do you put ‘Part-time’ as part of your designation?” he asked. “Well, I’m an entrepreneur, and keeping competition away from realizing the lucrativeness of this business is my second most important objective, after ruthlessly going after more rental sales” she retorted, as she quickly moved towards the gym owner who had just walked in.

At the time of going to press, she contacted the Bonnet Bots herself, this time offering look-alikes of apple watches for one-fifth the cost, on rent.

Image credits: Cover photo of man with weights: Photo by Anastase Maragos on Unsplash; Gym supplier woman Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

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