International Satire News

Earphone untangling expert stares at uncertain future after Bluetooth ‘wireless’ earbuds becoming commonplace

He used to visit old age homes and help the elderly regularly in tasks such as un-entangling their earphones and sometimes even re-installing the entire shoe-lace-multihole network on their shoes -all thanks to his intricate skills in handling threads, thick and thin.

Bonnet Bots Untrue News Service

Nottex Pert, a local earphone untangling expert, has his mind tangled. His entire life’s passion was helping other people, to do something that had become rather an important part of the ‘wired’ life viz. untangling their wires.  He used to visit old age homes and help the elderly regularly in tasks such as un-entangling their earphones, and sometimes even re-installing the entire shoe-lace-multihole network on their shoes, all thanks to his intricate skills in handling threads -thick and thin. However, with the passage of time, his world came crashing down as his usual ‘clientele’ began cutting the cords, quite literally. A major part of his help to the others was his ability to untangle their earphone, a task

 

 


Notty in happier times

 

which took almost a full four-and-half minutes for other lesser-abled humans. But this Nottex Pert (no pun intended) could do it in 7 seconds flat. And if they had flat-wired earphones, he could do it in 4 seconds flat (pun intended). But his skills are useless as more and more people turn towards wireless earphones that, as the name suggests, are wireless.

Nottex was anyway not as popular as his friend who is a tattoo removal consultant to broken-up couples. But he is still relatively famous for resolving a lot of irritation for people who urgently want to listen to a song without having to wait for the earphone wires to be sorted out. He was a blessing in disguise for them and derived his life’s pleasure out of doing something useful for others. But all that is set to change with companies that launched products that are insensitive to the life goals of people like him. 

 

 


Notty unsuccessfully trying other ways to help people

 

 

“Was it Apple that killed your passion?” the Blue Bonnet Bot asked him. “No, they are really kind to me and kept the Bluetooth buds as unaffordable as possible. It is the low-cost manufacturers that spoilt it for me,  launching Bluetooth earbuds that every Tom, Dick, Harry, and his uncle’s maid too can afford, which has ruined my raison d’être, he said. “I have tried out other avenues to help people, such as clean up for them, but clearly, it doesn’t feed my passion, as there are no strings attached, quite literally.”

 

 


Notty trying to adapt to his new skill

 

At the time of going to press, Nottex Pert was thinking of transitioning to becoming a Bluetooth pairing expert -for those of us who still cannot pair the wireless buds simultaneously to our phones and computers, as those from the corporate world would understand. “This is a field that tech giants have left untouched for people like me,” he said with genuine appreciation in his tone.

 

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